By Nick Campbell:
Lovers and friends, or friends who become lovers.. A new type of dilemma that can sometimes come up, is how to deal with attraction towards a ?friend?. Now bearing in mind that the term ?friend? is thrown out quite loosely, let?s keep it focused on real friends and not?acquaintance and associates.. They don?t have to be childhood friends per se, but this can include friends of friends, co workers, and random people you meet that haven?t crossed that line into attraction. How would you handle a situation like that? You?re good friends with a person of the opposite sex, but you start to catch feelings. This isn?t an abnormal thing because we?re all human and have feelings. You can?t help but wonder about all of the complaints people have about failed relationships. If ?friends? is a dirty word to you, then maybe you should reexamine your views towards it. Something to ponder?
Some ?Pros? to dating a friend: They know almost everything about you. Less pressure and no need to prove you?re not a douche. It?s like getting a head start in a race.?
That inside info our friends have about us can work in our favor as well. When you?re friends, the pressure comes down a notch. You get some wiggle room on certain things about you, a ?pass? you could call it. So sure this could be a Pro to dating a friend. They know you, and hopefully they know your heart and intentions. Do you agree that there is less pressure when dating a friend?
Some ?Cons? to dating a friend: ::flipped:: They know almost everything about you.. You saw us dog women out, so you think it?ll happen to you. It becomes a constant scrutiny.
And of course your friend knowing everything about you can be a double edged sword. Because of what they know, you?re fighting an uphill battle against perception. And that can be very difficult to change in someone. Perception can?sometimes?blur reality. Remember that..
Some ?Pros? to dating a friend: Trust.. Typically, you can trust that your friends won?t hold your past mistakes against you.
Notice I said ?Typically? because that?s how it should be. In a perfect world your friends take you at face?value?and won?t judge you. But we all know the world or people for that matter isn?t perfect. So it happens, question is, how do you handle it?
??Cons? to dating a friend: If it goes sour, it can divide mutual friends forcing them to pick sides. Ever dealt with that?
I?m sure we?ve all seen this movie before. A group of friends, two begin dating, they split and then the camp becomes divided. People get in loyal mode and pick sides. Some people would rather stay out of it of course, and in the process maintain their ties with both parties. This sometimes works, but often it doesn?t. Have you ever experienced this with some of your friends?
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Is it a?societal?thing that makes us have this apprehension towards dating friends? After all, friendship is a powerful tool to most?successful?relationships. So why do we run from it? Why is the dreaded friend zone dreaded at all? Keep these things in mind next time you?re checking out a ?friend?..
Till next time TRP! -Nick Campbell?
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Source: http://relationshipplaybook.com/2011/09/lovers-and-friends/
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